A Boston Zoom Bat Mitzvah in the Time of Covid
/In the dappled sunshine on a beautiful, one-way street in Somerville, MA, Dora’s cousins chalked the sidewalk with well wishes for her.
In a nearby temple, she was having her Zoom Bat Mitzvah in an empty sanctuary, with only her parents, sister and grandmother in attendance, along with a rabbi and cantor.
Her uncles and their families had come from New Jersey and Washington DC to celebrate with her, but were not allowed in the sanctuary because of Covid-19 policies, and neither was I, the photographer. The full service was skillfully filmed by the temple and watched by family and friends across the US and in Israel. Her Uncle Ben wore a tallis in the Stodolsky family living room and knew all the prayers and songs without a prayer book.
Before the service began, I got to photograph this beautiful young woman, who was strong and confident, and had the maturity to say yes to the service, even without the big party right afterwards. I’m sure she would’ve loved the seats of Beth El Temple Center to be filled with all her friends and family, but she knew the significance of the ritual and embraced that as the most important thing. A party will come in the future when gatherings are allowed.
A lovely garden alongside the temple offered us a shady respite from the blinding, bright sun. As glorious as sun is for our wellbeing, it’s not always great for photos, casting harsh shadows and making people squint. Open shade with fill light is this photographer’s friend. There was so much love between everyone.
Dora’s grandmother Susie had eyes that danced with pride and delight. She loved Dora and older sister Miriam to pieces, and their love for her was evident.
Grandma Susie with Bat Mitzvah Girl Dora (Right) and Miriam.
Dan and Jenny were beautiful together, siblings too, and when the family posed, they just fell into natural grace with each other.
With the sun behind them, and my MadMod light in front, I loved how the sun came through her sheer tallis. I asked her to spin, and the young dancer turned and turned again, her face lighting up.
Dora, with her beautiful Tallis before the start of Her bat mitzvah at beth el temple center in belmont, ma.
Fifteen minutes before the start of the service, many in her Hebrew School Class arrived in the parking lot, standing by their cars and she walked past them waving and accepting well wishes.
Friends clap and make hearts to show that even though they can’t be inside the sanctuary for dora’s bat mitzvah, they’re sending their love.
Just before the family went inside, I was asked by the rabbi if I could photograph the class. Standing 6 feet away from each other, everyone wearing a mask except the Bat Mitzvah girl, they stood together with their friend on her special day. The image was a little stagnant, and I wanted to infuse some celebration. Since Dora was wearing flats, and I knew this wouldn’t endanger her, I asked the group at the count of three to leap in the air and throw their arms out. It was joyful and their shadows added an interesting element.
Dora and her Hebrew School Class friends leap in the air in the parking lot of beth el temple center in celebration of her bat mitzvah. only the immediate family was allowed to attend the service, but her friends gave her a loving send off as she entered to begin her bat mitzvah.
I’d driven up from Northampton at 6 a.m. and thought I’d head back home after the pre-service family shoot, but Dora’s mom Jenny asked if I’d consider being at their house when the service was over to get a big family picture with her brothers and all their kids. Of course I would. I’d have to kill a few hours, but on a gorgeous day in Boston, I was happy to help make Dora’s Bat Mitzvah as special as I could.
As a photographer, it’s an interesting time to find a way to document Bar and Bat Mitzvahs that can’t happen as planned. All but one of my spring bar and bat mitzvahs postponed everything until the Fall, and now there’s a second wave of postponements until 2021 because of all the uncertainty of whether people will be able to gather again for religious services and large parties. It’s such a memorable moment in the life of a child on the brink of adolescence, of a family, and of connection with ancestors and history. It’s needs to be documented, not as we pre-conceive mitzvahs to look like, but as they are. Because of Corona virus policies, Beth El Temple Center (Belmont, MA) wouldn’t allow the normal photographs in the sanctuary of Dora holding the Torah, reading from it, being blessed by parents, etc. Hopefully by November, when her party is planned for, it will be safe enough to make those pictures in the sunlit sanctuary, but for now, it was about pivoting and documenting ‘what is’ as opposed to the traditional. It’s about giving a little more time, and about being open to the ways in which synagogues and families are getting creative with how they celebrate this coming-of-age moment. The car parade, the friends waving in the parking lot, the handmade posters by cousins, will be lasting memories of a unique time.
Dora delivered a strong, well thought out and articulated speech, wrestling with a time after the Israelites were freed from slavery, wandering in the desert, and missing the foods of Egypt. God punished them for their greed and selfishness, and Dora didn’t think that punishment showed much compassion and understanding on the part of God. I listened to it as I photographed her uncles and their families watching on laptops around the Stodolsky dining room table. I realized it was the first time in three months that I’d been in the home of someone else. It felt slightly wrong, slightly risky, but it made good pictures as the uncles applauded and waved, stood for the Kaddish prayer, dealt with squirmy, bored younger kids and a barking puppy. My eyes got damp with tears, as they always do, when the parents give their speeches. I learned the roots of her name - Dora Rachel - and the strong women she was named for. I sang along with the final two songs, and enjoyed as all the little faces in the zoom rectangles had a chance to wish Dora well when the service was over.
The family arrived home to a well chalked sidewalk, to the open arms of family, and to a few more groups shots in the backyard. Finally Dora could change out of her synagogue clothes into jeans and a t-shirt and dine on trays of middle eastern food. Just before I packed up to go, I asked them all to go get their masks for one last picture to remember this Covid-19 time. It’s a picture that tells a story of this time, and I hope if she has children and grandchildren that they’ll enjoy hearing the tale of a Zoom Mitzvah in the time of Corona.
Mazel tov Dora & Family!!